here's to beginnings

every now and then, we all have trials and tribulations.  and we don't always make the right decisions, so here's to new beginnnings!  ryan and i are embarking on a new beginning in our lives.  we are attacking this bull as a team yanking on the horns.  we will be successful.  and you know sometimes you have to fall all the way down before you can pick yourself up and dust your pants off and work your way up that ladder to success once again.  in the last 4 years, we stumbled, got up and started working toward the top again, but because we were making foolish decisions, we have fallen all the way to the bottom of the ladder, and now we are going to be starting fresh.  while he's had a great job, i have been staying home with the kids.  i will be challenging the state exam to get my certified nursing assistant's license back.  i allowed mine to lapse so i could spend time with maddie before she went to school.  now that she's starting first grade in the fall, i really think now is our time to shine.  i will likely put the girls in place before and after school care so that i can easily drop them off before going to work in the ams and then pick them up after i have run my errands.  it will cost me about 80 a week, but on a cna salary plus ryans salary, we can pay that.  then in the evenings, i will likely start taking courses at the community college in the fall or spring to work toward achieving my lpn degree.  while this was something that i didn't think i would ever want to do, it is what God is pushing me toward.  so when that's done and i have passed that board, i will work in that role for about 6 months before bridging over into the rn program at phcc.  I will take 1 year to get that rn degree, then continue toward my bachelors and bridging once again for my arnp degree.  Why you might ask?  well I am ready to finally put the past of feeling like a failure and like nothing i do is good enough behind me.  I am ready to be successful!  I have done my research, and while this will be a tough road, I know I can do it.  I've started gathering the documents I need to achieve this goal.  I am praying that by the time I turn 40, I will be an arnp.  That gives me 9 years to achieve it.  I will show you the figures after I finish with my post.  I know that when I was working, I was looking at it as a job and not a career.  I wasn't thankful for what I had.  I have changed my mindset on that.  When we both were cna's we neither one were happy, but I believe that was because we were choosing to not be happy.  When we were both working, we averaged about 40k a year.  Most of that was put toward old bills that we should have paid off instead of just splurging all the time.  I have grown a lot since then and I know that Ryan has too.  We are ready to start working toward our children's college educations.  We are ready to start working toward owning a 3 bedroom 2 bathroom home with an enclosed lanai with pool.  It doesnt' sound like much, but when you have nothing, any dream is better than no dream to work towards.  We are ready to start looking forward to being able to purchase a second car (and are hoping to do this by January 2013)  We need a second car badly. 

now for the fun part.  I went onto indeed.com for this information, and these are averages, so while it's a nice number, i know i may make a little less than the numbers you see here:

on average cna's in florida are making about $28,000 a year
on average lpn's are making $45,000 a year
on average rn's are making $76,000 a year
and on average arnp's are making $90,000 a year. 

again i stress, that i will probably make less than most of those averages to start, however, you have to remember i am coming back from not working for almost 2 years, so I need to start at the bottom and to me anything coming in is better than nothing coming in. 

i do want to ask one thing.  from my friends and family, please do not judge me for this decision, instead support me.  uplift me.  encourage me.  and when i ask for a sitter so i can go to class, it's not because i don't want to have my kids with me, it's because i want to get this done as quickly as i can so i can start spending more time with my kids and so i can better their future.  as i said above i have been feeling like i can't do anything good enough to please some of my family, so i want to change that and i need you to change your mindset to one of support and encouragement not one of judgemental attitude. 

thank you in advance for reading and encouraging me to live my dreams.  i am sure more posts will come as i get closer to living my dreams.  i am praying that i will have my cna test date by october 1, so i can start working by  the 1st of november at the latest!!!