Job Requirements for Parents

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way,I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!

POSITION

Mom

Mommy

Mama

Dad

Daddy

Dada

Pa

Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION

Long term, team players needed, for challengingpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.Candidates must possess excellent communicationand organizational skills and be willing to workvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekendsand frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES

The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of apack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, and embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability forthe quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION

None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE

None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION

Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS

While no health or dental insurance, no pension,no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growthand free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

Forward this to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,letting them know they are appreciatedfor the fabulous job they do...or forward with Special Loveto anyone thinking of applying for the job.